True Stories of Misunderstood Beasts
by ano-nimmus
Summary: Well, who said the gods always got it right? Originally a oneshot. First the Sphinx, then Cetus. Rating may go up. Note: I could REALLY use some reviews for the Cetus chapter!
1. Sphinx

**This was a little thingy-ma-jigger that I did for a school project. It's a remake of the story of Oedipus and the Sphinx. THIS is the REAL story, folks. **

**Disclaimer: Hmmm, first disclaimer ever. I always forget. Ah, well... Now then, to business. Well, the gods own the dang characters, but I made the story. We're even. Measure for measure. Take that. Mwa ha ha. Why am I saying all this? On with the TRUE story!**

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It's not easy for me to think up a hard riddle. 

Hard for a _sphinx_, that is. When you think of a sphinx, you normally think of something outgoing, clever, and actually just a little bit deadly, right? Well, I'm not. Instead, I'm just a little bit of a disappointment. I'm timid (for a sphinx), dumb (for a sphinx), and pretty weak (for a sphinx). In other words, I'm the lowest of the low among my own people, but luckily humans are dumb enough to actually consider me to be sorta scary.

If you rounded up all the sphinxes in the world and picked sides for soccer, I'd probably be the last one left, right next to the fat kid and the one with the cast.

Well you see, one day I was guarding Thebes, killing anyone who tried to go in or out, ask the riddle, kill myself if they got it right (luckily this didn't happen), kill them if they got it wrong. You know, the usual stuff. And there was this man who came by. He saw me, I suppose, because he started screaming and trying to run away. Well, at least he tasted good.

It continued like that for a long time.

Step one: tradesmen passed.

Step two: they saw me.

Step three: I asked the riddle. Some were so freaked out that I got bored and just ate them. Those who did answer got it wrong. I ate them too.

Well, if they were too fat I avoided them. I killed them, but I left them alone after that. Okay, so sometimes it was hard to pass up thelarge amount of edible flesh, but after a few days there was a certain something that kept me back. Let's just say they had some serious hygiene issues, shall we?

It was a long time before anything exciting happened. It was all like that, and being a sphinx I never found anyone who could answer my riddles. But there was one day when this guy came along, and he was at least a little more interesting. I mean, who else would take on a dangerous riddle of their own free will?

"Hi," he said to me confidently. "My name is Oedipus, and I'm going to solve your riddle."

"Yeah, right," I snickered. "How many people have failed before? Three hundred and sixty two at the last count, I think." I paused and took a long time counting up the skulls at my side. "Oh wait, make that three hundred and sixty three. You can count 'em yourself if you don't believe me."

He shrugged. "Oh well. Fine by me."

I frowned for a moment. Then I brightened and grinned. "Wait a second! Your name is Et-a-puss? You ate a cat? Why?"

Okay, so it was a pretty lame joke, but I was feeling pretty boisterous at the time, and it made me even happier when he got angry. I won't go into detail now, but I'll tell you that he was screaming at me a lot. Then he walked away fuming. It was all I could do to stop myself from whistling merrily.

That night, it was a dark and stormy night... and Oedipus cheated. I saw him climbing Mount Olympus and asking Zeus the answer to my riddle.

When he got to my place the next morning (constructed of my favorite bones), I asked him the riddle: "What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?" I could see he was trying to make it look like he was thinking had about this. But he wasn't the only one with a Plan B.

Finally, he said, "Man crawls on all fours in infancy, walks upright on two legs in adulthood, and uses a cane as a third leg in old age." He grinned at me proudly, expecting me to throw myself off the walls of Thebes or whatever. But you know, he was wrong.

"No," I crowed. "The answer is: A horse walks on all fours, then his front legs are cut off, and then he has a surgical operation and gets back one of his legs!"

So I ended up eating him. He sure screamed a lot. I think he permanently damaged my hearing. Anyhoo, the only reason I died was because the meat was so rich I fell off a cliff. Now then, I have the boatman of the River Styx to gobble...

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**So.. Love it? Hate it? What? Reviews appreciated! From your Review-Appreciating author (hint, hint):**

**--The Oracle Fox--**


	2. Cetus

**The Longest A/N in the World**

**Hi, everyone! So this story used to be called _The True Story of a Misunderstood Sphinx_, and it used to be nothing but one chapter, but as you can see, it has been renamed, and it will be more of a collection of stories. I'm going to make a story for several monsters/bad guys in Greek mythology, from Echidna to Typhon to Circe. But don't hold your breath for the next one, cause I'm just going to write when I feel like it, and you'll have to be content with letting me wait to get into my stride. Please do not bug me about updating! If you must, you can say you want me to update in your review, but don't send me a PM every other day. **

**NOTE: The monster will go back and forth between modern slang (hi's and heck's), slightly sarcastic jokes, and older forms of storytelling (perhaps, and such). So don't get confused with the way it bounces all around.**

**P.S. Sorry if the first paragraph sounded crabby, but... I already have a story I'm working on, and this'll just kind of be an aside thing.**

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Hi. My friend Hades says you people might enjoy hearing this story from my point of view. Not sure _why _you would like it, but heck, when a Lord of the Dead asks, would _you _refuse? 

So here.

I was born in the middle of the Aegean Sea; rather, that is what you humans call it. To us _monsters_, as you call us, it is the Sea of Mesukarandaesladeskamenirastang. A bit of a mouthful, but we have big mouths. I was raised the monster way; fighting with everyone and everything. We were even trained to bite through rocks, though I never really excelled at that.

Poseidon didn't have supreme control over us, but since we lived in _his _seas, he could blackmail us with things like, 'If you don't do _blank _for me, I'll do _blank_ to you.' But luckily he hadn't done that in a while. He mostly left us alone, in our corner of the sea where we were born and raised before being sent out on a small task to complete.

They were easy tasks, mostly. Few ever failed. I was one of those few.

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It began, perhaps, with what Andromeda's mother said. I was there when she said it, before the sea itself, her horrified husband trying in vain to stop her saying what he knew she was about to say. I heard her say it. 

It was not really Cassiopeia's fault. She was a queen, and queens grow up as princesses, who are pampered and spoiled and told how perfect they are. And she _was _beautiful. Extremely so, as was her daughter. And yet, she bragged, she boasted. Her beauty and her manner are not her fault. But her words are.

For she said that she, and her daughter Andromeda, were by far more beautiful than the Nereids, the sea-women.

This was her fault, and hers alone.

Those words were not wise.

For those words brought down upon her city the wrath of Poseidon.

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The Nereids rarely came to our kingdom. When they did, two days after Cassiopeia's announcement to the sea, I saw that they were beautiful, far more beautiful than Cassiopeia or Andromeda. Poseidon came with them, as did Nereus, he who had fathered the sea-women. My father and I were in our palace when the legions of sea-people arrived. 

I felt duty-bound to say to my father, "I think I know why they are here." For I was the only one of our kind who had been there when Cassiopeia said what she did, and I had not told anyone yet. One of the Nereids was passing by us as I said this, and she heard. She laughed-- a breathy, gurgling sound that spread through the water --and called out, "Sea Lord! This one appears to know why we venture into this kingdom. Why don't you ask him why?"

Poseidon himself floated through the ranks of Nereids, in my direction. His voice was powerfully ancient and yet anciently powerful, and I knew I could never be equal to him. "You know?" he asked. "You know why we are here?" I could see that he didn't believe that I would have the answer to his question.

And though I was sure that I did, I was cautious. "Lord," I said, "perhaps it is presumptuous of me." I heard my father snort in agreement, but I ignored him. "I have heard a mortal woman speak in contempt of the beauty of the Nereids. Perhaps this is not your reason, but it is insulting, is it not?"

Poseidon's face darkened in anger. "Indeed. And I suppose you know what I want of the inhabitants of this corner of the Sea?"

I hesitated. "I... suppose, Lord, that you wish for one of us to go into the city on your waves and savage Cassiopeia's city?"

"You are clever," said Poseidon. "And because you are, I will tell you that that is only one of the city's options. The other is that Andromeda, daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia, be chained to a rock where one of you may swallow her. The king and queen have gone to their orcle at Ammon. They will know by now how their city may be saved."

"Ah."

Poseidon's face became a little brighter. "And now, in you, I have found the one to threaten the city!"

Oh.

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So I was sent to the coast of Ethiopia, where I growled, and snapped at anyone who came close enough, and the king and queen were sent for, and when they looked at me they went white, because even only the top half of my body was bigger than six humans in height. 

But I didn't get any pleasure from scaring them, as some of my brethren would have. I just thought of them as small things that didn't _actually_ need to be scared, when they could be left alone. And then the waves lapping by my ears whispered to me a message from Poseidon: _Do not think of deserting your post._

I didn't.

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Two days later, I floated just beneath the surface by the rocky cliff agreed upon (or rather, the oracle had said that was where to put the girl, and the rulers agreed). I had been an hour or so ahead of schedule, but I definitely hadn't wanted to be late, and you never knew what might happen down in the deep blue ocean; rival tribes of 'monsters', a coral scratch, which always bleeds profusely, or even a fishing boat which hampers you on your journey by thinking you are food. 

And then they had arrived, th king and the queen and the princess and their consort. The princess had been stripped naked and her wrists and ankles were already bound by firm ropes. When they reached the edgeof the cliff, the princess was carried down by two servants and the ropes were stuck fast against the cliffside using tiny daggers. The servants scurried back up the side of the cliff.

It was time for me to act. I took a breath and rose above the waves. It said in one manuscript, long after:

_The waters roared and from the ocean wastes there came a menacing monster, its breast covering the waves far and wide._

Nice words, and I suppose partly true, but even I wasn't _that_ big. I roared, a howl which caused fear to show plainly in all faces. And then I stopped. Because, directly above me, came a man who was flying. _Hermes?_ I wondered. _Or another god?_

It wasn't either. There was a hoarse yell from the man above, and as I looked up I saw that he wore the sandals of Hermes, at his side hung Hades' cap of invisibility, and he held in his hand a sword and the shield of Athena. I was afraid. For the first time in my life, I was swept away by a wave of the cold feeling of fear. Who was this man, that three of the great gods helped him? Was he god-born himself?

I watched, frozen, the waves surging around me, as he raised up his sword arm. His sword descended, and he was flying all around me, stabbing , slicing cuts in my sides that hurt much more than I might have expected. And then the sword fell, one final time.

Blood flowed out of me.

I was gone.

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**Hm. That was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**-Fox**


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